Day 160 - What I'm thankful for

     It's been a while since I've stayed overnight here at the hospital and I am quickly reminded how hard it is to sleep here.  This despite the fact that Evan's nightly medication list is very short compared to how long it was before.  He woke up a little sore last night due to the ankle surgery, but it was nothing that morphine and Lortab couldn't fix.

     I've gotten a chance to see some familiar faces while here and catch up with some of the nursing staff.  It's not ideal to have to be admitted into the hospital, but it's much easier when there are friendly folks that know our situation and how best to provide us excellent care.

     Today seems like a blur, but this is only because I've been busy the majority of the day meeting with the various medical teams.  The surgical team came by early this morning to check out his draining tube.  It was filled with blood, pus and mucus and the Doctor-fellow seemed pleased with how it looked.  This was followed shortly by a visit from the ID doctor.  Her and I had a long talk about his treatment ahead, if this infection could have been avoided and how we can prevent c-diff from developing this time.  Unfortunately the c-diff will remain a challenge until they're able to isolate the specific type of infection.

Spread your wings young man!

     As for the former topics above we'll likely be on antibiotics until Evan has completed the difficult phases of chemo.  His suppressed immune system is being pointed to as the likely cause of infection and thus unavoidable.  Under a microscope ID knows the cells are gram-negative, similar to e-coli.  If it turns out to be e-coli the doctor said it will be much easier to treat.  They're going to keep us here until next Monday out of caution and knowing his history with infections.  If all goes well and they're able to suppress the infection the medical team will likely move forward with the next half of delayed intensification early next week.

     The surgeon also made a visit to check Evan out.  At that time Evan was in great spirits and eating lunch.  If his inflammation (CRP) scores are down tomorrow they are going to remove the draining tube.  If not, they'll go back in for further cleaning.  Based purely on how Evan looked visually and the fact he hadn't experienced any fevers he felt pretty good about his CRP score being lower.  I asked about long term expectations for his leg and if we should be concerned.  The doctor said it's likely due to lower white blood cells counts and that it wasn't that unexpected during this phase of chemo.  He also mentioned that Evan's leg looked better this time around than originally.  Our physical therapy progress is probably lost though as we will have to wait for the ankle joint to recover from the surgery before restarting weight bearing exercises.

Acting silly for the surgeon.

     All in all it was better news than what I had prepared myself for.  Everyone who has looked at Evan today is surprised with how alert and nonchalant he is about the whole thing.  He made mention to me that he wanted to go home, but I told him not to worry and that mommy or daddy would be here with him the entire time.  CURE has a Thanksgiving day feast planned for the patients tomorrow and my parents are sending food up with me for Cristy and Evan.  I have a feeling we won't lack things to eat this weekend.

Music therapy time.  Let's get to jamming.

     This brings me to the title of today's blog, which is what I'm thankful for.  One of the things I've tried to make clear to Evan is that feeling sorry for ourselves won't make this ordeal easier.  Whining is another coping mechanism that I try to steer him from.  He's been so strong throughout and I'm certain he's handling this better than I would whether I was 5 or 55.  I mention this because it will come up in the bullet points below.  I really have too many things to capture them all, but I'll try to highlight the main ones that come to mind. 

I'm thankful for....

• a strong wife and two strong boys.  No matter what challenges crop up they've rolled with the punches and tried to bounce back more resilient and tougher than before.  All of them have even managed to keep smiles on their faces when they have every reason to cry.
• extremely supportive family and friends.  Whether it's time with us or an ear to bend everyone has been so giving of themselves.
• a job that gives me the flexibility to provide for my family.  Not only financially, but also lenient with my time away from the office.  This allows me to be there and take some of the burden off of Cristy and others.
• my team of co-workers.  They have all picked up my slack at different times never asking or wondering how it could benefit them, only trying to make sure it gives me cycles to devote to my family.  I'll be forever grateful.
• a strong-headed boy.  I've always treated him older than what he is.  Cancer is a terrible thing, but if he comes through this it will have been the greatest character builder anyone could think of.  He amazes me with his tenacity and inspires me to be better than I ever thought I could.  I know it sounds cliche, but the perspective I have for life now is only possible because of this life challenge.
• the health of my family.  All things considered we're doing all right and we'll continue taking things a day at a time.

     I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving tomorrow!  Make sure to hug those you love and let them know how much you care about them.